and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
