Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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