oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
