"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize