Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize