I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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