is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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