literally had 100 drinks last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
