She even gives head with a lisp.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
