dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
