She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
