sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
