I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
