I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
