Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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