this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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