even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
