I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
