It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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