Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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