did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
