So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize