I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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