just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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