my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize