I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
