Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
