my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
