Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
