hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
