Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
