you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
