Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
