I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
