oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
