now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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