I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
farters have to be the big spoon...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
