party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
