cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
