i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
