having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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