I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
