there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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