I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
