No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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