I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize