Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
