Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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