Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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