I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize