obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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