So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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