After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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