Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
