They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
