You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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