u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
