ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
