haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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