Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
