yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
whose parrot is this?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
