im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
