So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
