I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
