Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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