I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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