you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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