worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize