Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
