He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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