HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
